And I forgot to mention that about a week ago, sweet Miss Elliott bit me while nursing...hard...so hard it made me bleed. So ever since then, it hurts so bad to nurse and pump. It's like starting all over again. Not fun. Chalk that one up on the "stop nursing" side. :)

Questions

I have really been feeling an internal struggle lately about when I should stop nursing Miss E. If you don't want to hear about it, read no further. :) I have REALLY enjoyed nursing and have been so thankful that Elliott has always been such a good eater. However, probably about a month ago, I feel like the whole experience has gotten more stressful. I think several factors contributed to the change. First, she really started enjoying other foods and really wasn't as interested in nursing. Also, we went down to four feedings a day which has been fabulous for Kev and I (she goes to bed at 7 so we have good hang out time at night), but not so fabulous on my milk supply. I still pump before I go to bed (gag), but I still can't seem to pump as much as I used to.

So typically the last feeding is the worst (especially on days I work). She acts fussy, she won't nurse normally so it takes longer for my milk to let-down. I literally switch her back and forth until finally she will eat a little. BUT in the mean time, it is miserable. I am always paranoid she's not getting enough, and there have been times I have just given up and defrosted milk to give to her in a bottle. Then she acts totally happy.

Part of me thinks, maybe she's just not as interested any more, she's eating other foods great, I have some milk still stored, she's almost 9 months, let's just stop nursing. I absolutely HATE pumping, and right now I'm pumping every night on top of the 3 days I work. I know some people have it worse, but I am SO tired of pumping...especially at work. There are some days I don't have time to pump twice so I just get one time in, so then of course I feel guilty. Sounds like a fairly strong case to quit, right?

Well then another side of me feels bad/guilty to stop nursing. I think I had the expectation to nurse for a year so I feel like I'm throwing in the towel too quickly. I also start wondering if it will be more difficult/inconvenient to stop nursing because I won't have a "bottle" always available. Also, we would probably have to do some formula and that's whole new can of worms that sounds stressful.

There is something so awesome (maybe selfish?) about being the only person who can feed your baby, especially in chaotic times with lots of family around. You can take a little break and you get to have a moment with just you and your baby. No one questions you or asks to do it (that would be really weird), and it's a need only you can fulfill. I feel like I will miss that. So many thoughts and yet I know there is no "right" answer. I go back and forth and still seem no closer to a solution.

Any thoughts??

Easter cuteness

Worst.blogger.ever. No one's going to read my blog because I've stopped posting. In my defense, we have been crazy busy with some life changing things...and I'm not just exaggerating by saying they're life changing. We are actually MOVING to South Bend, Indiana in August so Kev can start his PhD. He has thought about going back to school for a long time (I was secretly hoping he would change his mind), and doors continued to open and now we're here. It has felt so far away for so long, but now it feels like the date is rapidly approaching. Is it really almost MAY??? Really?

How do I feel? Well, I love security, routine, and where we are now, so yes, it is definitely out of my comfort zone to think about moving across the country, away from all our family and friends, to an extremely COLD place (in the winter at least) so Kev can go back to school. However, God has been so gracious in confirming our decision in so many different ways, and I am so thankful! I know that it will be a good experience and we will learn so much, but I feel like I'm in the grieving, chaos stage.

So yeah, we've been a little busy. Preparing our house to sell, trying to find replacements at our jobs, thinking about where we will live when we move, trying to think about jobs for me in Indiana, spending time with family and friends, while just doing "normal" life. Needless to say, I have remembered many a task AFTER I was supposed to have them done. *Sigh* I know it's only a season. So at least that catches you up, and maybe you'll be a little more understanding of my lack of blogs. Hopefully I will be more faithful now...and hopefully you'll be interested to hear about the craziness of our life.

And for my family, some seriously cute pics of Miss Elliott from Easter in her adorable Easter dress!

Just hanging with Dad.

Such a big girl!

Had to post this because you can see her two bottom teeth so well. These suckers are sharp...more on this later.

She looks like a doll to me in this picture.

Love this girl!

Wow, life has been busy...obviously, since I haven't posted in over a week. Not to mention that I am one week behind her monthly post, which I do intend to do...eventually. In the mean time, I thought I would post some pictures from this past weekend. We drove to San Angelo to visit my sister and her husband. It was a 6 and 1/2 hour drive which is the longest drive Elliott has been on so far. She actually did really well...some fussiness, but I get fussy in a 6+ hour drive. We did a little bit of light reading...

played with a Nalgene bottle...

and lots of other fun things, but needless to say, we were ALL thankful to get there. We had a really fun time, and I was really impressed with San Angelo. Yes, there were lots of rock lawns, cactuses, mesquite trees, and it was 97 degrees already, but it was really a nice town. I said it reminded me of a little San Antonio.

It was really great to spend some time with my sis and brother-in-law and see their new house.

Elliott loved seeing her aunt. Anja was excited too.

Anja was determined to get a picture with Elliott smiling/looking at the camera. We resorted to holding rose petals in front of her...it didn't work. Anja got some good pics with her camera but I was just taking pictures with my phone.

I did catch a sweet moment between Kev and Elliott. She loves her daddy!

We also took a little family pic.

Oh, and did I mention we FINALLY bought a car. I actually blogged about looking for a car, oh, over a YEAR ago, and we finally got around to buying one. We decided on a Honda Pilot. We like the fact that it is a little bigger, little more room. It's used, but I can honestly say it's the nicest care I've ever owned. I feel nervous to drive it. Plus we're planning on it being Elliott's first car so I better keep it in good shape. :) Here is a few pics of it.

Cuteness!

I have been such a bad blogger lately. Amazing how quickly time passes these days! I blame it on long work days and an increasingly busy little girl. I feel like I have had several blog posts in my head, I just haven't gotten a chance to sit down and write them. Does anyone else do this? You start to think in "blog," as in what your next post will be. No? Maybe it's just me.

Jeggings...my absolute favorite baby clothing. Nice stretchy waist (for big bellied babies) and yet so trendy.

Food is GOOD these days...unless it has weird texture like homemade squash or green beans.

And my new favorite hairdo on Miss E...PIG TAILS!!!

Cutest.look.EVER!!

Who is this little girl and where did my baby go? Sigh.