Update

So for those of you wondering what happened with my bridesmaid dress saga, after talking to my mom, I decided to just see if someone could take it out (is that the right expression) before the wedding. Kev took it to the seamstress on Monday (I had clinic), and she agreed to do it! I just picked it up today...I haven't tried it on yet, but I keep thinking, what would I do now even if it didn't fit since we're leaving tomorrow to go home. I'll let you know and take pictures.

Also, here are the long awaited belly pics. Excuse the blurriness...we got a new camera (like last summer), and we're still having a hard time with the settings. I blame the camera and not our lack of skills. Baby E's growing!

12 weeks

17 weeks

Oh the beautiful belly shot...gotta love it. Maybe now you can see why my dress was extremely tight.

I also thought I'd include a picture of our beautiful new Pottery Barn dishes. I love them! It was definitely a splurge, but I've always wanted them and this year for my birthday I decided it was now or never. Kev and I actually got our original "everyday" dishes from Walmart, assuming that we would just get new ones when we got tired of them. Here we were, 6 years later, Walmart dishes chipped which drove me crazy, and I thought now or never. I didn't figure we could justify new dishes once we have a new baby. They are significantly larger than our old dishes, but we still love them!

What to do...

So I'm kind of having a panic moment today. Each day I feel like my belly may be growing a little, but sometimes it's hard to tell. Actually, I still have days I wake up and I feel like I don't look as big as I think I should, and it makes me worried. I'm ashamed to admit it, because it's completely ridiculous to gauge if everything is alright based on the size of your belly.

Today was like any other day. I actually felt like maybe I had grown slightly (I mean, I am 17 weeks today). Where did my panic moment come in? Well, I am a bridesmaid in my youngest sister's wedding next Saturday. I was fitted for my dress BEFORE I found out I was pregnant. So I tried on the dress a couple months ago, and it was actually kind of loose in the bodice (it's strapless, fitted at the top, and then bells out). I figured, what a perfect dress to wear when you're pregnant because the fitted portion is above your belly. Little did I know.

I had my mom send me the dress last week because I thought I might need to have it altered because it was too big. I finally got around to trying it on today, and let's just say it was a bit of a struggle to get it zipped. The good news is we did get it zipped (finally). The bad news is it is a little bit difficult to breath. I can just imagine being at the front of the church, struggling to breath, in 3 inch heels. Can't wait. It has always been a huge fear of mine to pass out in a wedding...hopefully that fear will not be realized.

Questions

So every since people started finding out I was pregnant, I feel the same two questions over and over. First, how are you feeling and second, are you having any weird cravings.

It's always very difficult to answer how I'm feeling, I mean how much information do people really want? Some days I feel very tired and nauseated but that seems to be getting better as time goes by. Sometimes I have abdominal discomfort that of course makes me very anxious and makes me analyze everything it could possibly be, so in turn I am probably completely distracted. Some days I feel fat because nothing I tried that morning fit the way it used to, and I'm still trying to adjust to this in between phase. I usually feel very excited and blessed to be pregnant at all and excited to see the ways my body is changing. However, I usually answer this question with a simple "good."

As far as weird cravings, I don't feel like I've wanted anything totally bizarre. My first craving according to Kev was fried okra, and if you know me, I very rarely eat fried foods. At first, I really liked sandwiches and cheese, but now I really don't crave either one. I can't tolerate coffee in the morning which makes me really sad because I usually drink coffee DAILY. Now I really love green tea (decaf) which I didn't really love before. I can't stand green onions, and I try to avoid anything with lots of onions and garlic. I have totally changed my morning routine from oats and walnuts everyday to Kashi cereal (1 particular kind) with 1 boiled egg.

So if any of you have been thinking of asking these 2 questions, here's your answers.

Finally...

For some reason, I have been putting off writing this post for awhile. For those of you who don't know...

I'M PREGNANT!

It's hard for me to believe that I am actually pregnant. It feels surreal in so many ways. It has definitely been a longer path that we would have ever expected, but now in retrospect, we're able to see how much we've learned during that season (and yet are also realizing day to day how much more we have to learn). I actually had a miscarriage in April, and then after what seemed like an eternity, we were able to get pregnant again.

This pregnancy has definitely been different...I've had a much greater appreciation of what a blessing it is to be pregnant. During the long season of waiting, I feel like I was able to see that there are so many girls that struggle to get pregnant, and some that may never get pregnant. In some ways I feel guilty, knowing in a small way the doubt, the questions, the disappointment and pain you experience while waiting, not knowing what the future holds. I definitely don't want to take this pregnancy, this baby for granted.

I am 15 weeks and 4 days (not that I'm counting or anything), and I still experience days of such debilitating fear and anxiety, wondering if this pregnancy will end like my last. It is such a continual battle in my mind...knowing God is in control, but still fearing the unknown. I realized when I went in for my 10 week ultrasound, that while everything looked good at that time, you never reach a point in your pregnancy where you are guaranteed a healthy baby. Yes, your risk may go down the farther along you are, but there is still no "safe zone."

So my prayer for today is that I would enjoy each and every day of this pregnancy that God gives me. That my life (heart and mind) would not be governed by fear of something that is totally out of my control.

So I guess it's started...the ramblings of a crazy pregnant girl! :)

Cooking

I have been in a cooking mood lately, and since Kev was out of town last weekend, it seemed like a perfect time to do some baking. Unfortunately, it was a slightly disappointing day of baking because things didn't turn out as I had planned.

I found a new recipe on-line for peanut butter cup cookies, so I decided to make some for Kev because he is a huge fan of peanut butter and chocolate. When they came out, they were SO flat, which I totally hate and I could hardly get them off the cookie sheet in one piece. It was so frustrating! I checked the recipe multiple times to make sure I hadn't missed an ingredient, but no such luck. Thankfully I halved the recipe so we didn't have them running out of our ears and I pawned them off to our small group.

I am also a huge fan of banana bread. How can you beat a warm slice of banana bread with a glass of milk. Yum. Well, I have a recipe from a friend that I have made multiple times, and I like it because it is good (obviously very important), but I also feel like it isn't that bad for you (doesn't have lots of sugar, butter, etc). Here's the recipe in case you ever want to try it.

3 ripe bananas, mashed

1/4 C butter, melted

1 egg

1/2 C sour milk or plain yogurt

2 1/4 C flour

1/2 C sugar

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 C chopped nuts (I use walnuts and I never measure because I like lots of nuts)

1/2 C chocolate chips (I never use)

Mix the wet ingredients and dry ingredients in separate bowls. Add the dry ingredients to the banana mixture and mix until just moistened. Add the chocolate chips and the chopped nuts. Pour into greased loaf pan and bake at 350 for 45-50 minutes. I usually cover it with foil the last 15 minutes or so to keep the top from getting to brown.

So this time I made it, I decided to see if I could make it a little more healthy so I substituted whole wheat flour for 1 1/4 cups of the flour and then I added 2 tablespoons of ground flaxseed. Kev said it had a different texture but I still thought it tasted good. Hope you enjoy!

Beans

So as I was working out today, I was reading through a random magazine about how to eat to prevent cancer. Odd I know, but I forgot my headphones so I had to do something to make the time pass more quickly. Food and nutrition are always very interesting to me, and one of the points the article was emphasizing was how important it was to have frequent veggies and fruits during the day (of course) and eat meals without animal meat (ie using beans and such). This just further confirmed my opinion that beans are AMAZING! Lots of fiber, can be a complete protein, low fat, helps prevent cancer...the list just goes on and on.

As I was rummaging through my cabinets trying to figure out what to have for lunch, the above information fresh on my mind, what should I find but a can of pinto beans. Jack pot! I washed and drained the pinto beans, added a can of green chilis, salt to taste, and cumin and put it on a couple of corn tortillas. Topped with a little melted mozzarella cheese and salsa, it was SO delicious!!! And I still have leftovers. So today, as I make our meal menu for the week, my goal is to incorporate more meatless, bean recipes into our diet as well as increase our fiber. Get ready Kev! Maybe I should also pick up some Bean-o at the store for poor Kev. :)

Winter wonderland!

I had to go to Denver last Thursday for a work conference, and I think I might have been on one of the last planes that made it out of OKC before the "storm" hit. I must admit, I am always extremely skeptical when the Oklahoma meteorologists begin reporting terrible storms in the forecast. I am convinced that not enough excitement happens in Oklahoma so they are determined to create some excitement of their own. Granted, they have been correct before (like over Christmas we had a lot of snow and a couple of years ago we had a terrible ice storm). However, I have never been one to rush to the store to stock up on groceries, water, or batteries. I'm sure this mindset will someday come back to bite me, like when we're stuck in a freezing cold house with no electricity, frozen pipes, and little to eat, but I guess there are some things you just have to learn the hard way.

I got home from Denver on Saturday, and imagine my surprise when Norman was both colder with more snow/ice than Denver. What are the chances? I guess the weatherman was somewhat correct. We did get snow/ice but very few people lost electricity in the Norman area. However, I did just have a patient tell me yesterday that they lost electricity on Thursday and were told it will probably not come back on for another week (a week from yesterday). Granted, he didn't live in Norman but in a small surrounding town. That sounds beyond miserable to me!! We took some pictures of our snow/ice storm so we'll remember sometime the weatherman is right.

We were shocked at this HUGE icicle on our house. Amazing!

Truman actually enjoyed playing in the snow!

He looks vicious to me in this picture. Trying to catch the snow...unsuccessfully.

Cutest dog in town.